Note left on a fridge from a man to a woman.

Reasons why I am unsuitable husband material:

1. I cannot provide you with adequate understanding and compassion.

2. I find your problems trivial and mundane, and I do not want to suffer through a life spent listening to you.

3. Though I appreciate your attempts to be funny, I am rarely tickled.

4. Your coyness is not funny to me and I see it more as a tool you use to get things you want, than a genuine expression of who you are.

5. You deserve someone who doesn’t view you with such skepticism.

6. Though I am moved by your physical qualities, I find our lovemaking colorless and devoid of creativity.

7. I question your sincerity when it comes to your taste in novels, movies, music and art.

8. I don’t value your opinions on politics or spirituality.

9. I feel like I annoy you when I am happy and I hurt your feelings when I am depressed.

10. I laugh too hard when your brother makes incisive remarks about your character.

11. I agree with your mother when she accuses you of being unkind.

12. I feel happiness when you fail to achieve your career goals.

13. I am unlikely to ever make enough money to provide for a child.

14. You don’t make me feel like a man.

15. Both of us are sarcastic, passive aggressive and listless.

16. We fail at inspiring each other to be better people.