My wife's hazel eyes changed color in the night. This morning they are green. Why the changed neither of us can figure, but we both agree it is an improvement. Today I'm going to buy her a nice green sweater to match her new eyes, and she is already hinting at emeralds. Emeralds are fragile and don't set well into jewelry. I made mention of this, and I hope that will be the end of it.

The fat whale overslept and missed his bus. One more day like this and I'm going to see the buzzard, he said. The next morning same thing. That's it, the fat whale said, off to the buzzard with me. At the buzzard's apartment things were a bubblin'. He stood before the front steps, alarm clock in hand, and looked up at the third floor window, where from he could hear turkey's arguing, proud-fish sobbing, a lion overcome with loneliness, and what sounded like a buffalo stomping around in indignation. Maybe another day, the fat whale said.

It's two days before Christmas and as is my custom I am overslept and down to the wire for present buying. I'm stressed. My sister's mix tape is taping and I'm a prisoner here until it's done. Then it's up to a bead shop on Main Street and over to my friend Charlotte's house to catch the ferry. OK. Conventional wisdom says don't fight being depressed if you have reason to be, and don't dwell. Don't dwell, but be depressed? I have to admit I don't understand. I MISS MY BABY. C'mon. Pearl of wisdom.

At this stage (stages for me are abundant, fickle and erratic) I have a solid footing and a poor to pathetic personality. I am comfortable with this. I worry that no woman will ever again find the time to think the pulp of me appealing, but then I can't predict the advancing stages. And anyway, women are not on my radar. The whole idea of second loves waves at me like a sail from the cavern of the storm. Every woman is a question and a definite answer. Truth be told, my affections are going nowhere until she comes back and I get another crack at it. I'm dedicated to my purgatory. I'm getting on with my life, but making all plans around next summer. Every day I pray she doesn't meet him before then, and then remind myself of the chief importance of her happiness. I feel her eyes on me every time I play with the dog, am kind to a friend, or think I look good walking. I'm a terrific mess.

But my next stage might find me hilarious again, charming, thoughtful, considerate, caring, clear minded, friendly, not easily angered, humble, successful, widely liked and respected, engaged, excited, adventurous, confident, grounded, replete with new, practical talents, sober, employed, possessing a cell phone and an automobile, unencumbered by anxiety or secondary disturbances, having taste, tact, and tenderness, with libido unharmed, bursting with stories, basking in future endeavors, happy, and otherwise totally fatherhood material. By summer.